Josh Polk: Laughter is the best Medicine - 7/26/13 - Male Performer Chat

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Laughter is the best Medicine

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Male Performer Chat: Laughter is the best Medicine

Created by: louisphillippe

4/25/17 @ 7:52pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Momentarely in this galaxy while the mother ship r
Posts: 1,234

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Sex is like air.Not important unless you don't have enough....

A person has sex 2.693 times in their life time...You have
a lot of catching up to do!!!!! :thumbsup

Why is it that during sex it is OK to say "Who is your daddy???
and not OK to say " I love you mommy??... :orglaugh

A concerned girl asked the priest: " Father is it OK to
have sex before communion??"
The priest responded:
"Only if you don't block the aisle my dear..."

Joe says: I didn't have sex with my wife before getting married. Did you??"
Peter answers: " I don't know Joe.What is your wife's name? "

A guy went to a $10 prostitute and got crabs.
When he went to complain she told him.
"For $10 dollars what did you expect? Lobsters?? :orglaugh

DON'T BE SHY!!!
:evil

If you are reading these please contribute with a little joke
at least... :evil

otherwise this is as much fun as a ping pong
game without a ball or a racket... :mad

Just my

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Created by: malteeser

4/27/17 @ 2:29pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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Since it seems that it is a ping pong game, here is a ping pong joke.

Ping Pong Balls

There were three men at a bar. One was hard of hearing. They were all sitting around having a good time when suddenly a beautiful woman walks into the bar.

She said "The man who brings me the biggest ping pong balls will have me as a sex slave for the day. So all the men rushed out, and the first one comes back with decent sized balls. Then the next comes in with balls even bigger. Then the hard of hearing man comes back with huge balls with hair all over them.

The lady says "Those aren't ping-pong balls! What the hell are they?"

The man says "Ping-pong balls!? I thought you said King Kong's balls."

Come on guys, break the ping pong game. No more sense of humour out there?

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Created by: davidzzzzzz

4/27/17 @ 4:17pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 13,827

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Q. Why did God create gay guys?
A. So fat girls have someone to dance with.

(My favorite gay joke of all time!)

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Created by: malteeser

4/29/17 @ 1:20pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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A young Italian boy went to confess to his priest.

“Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.”

The priest asks, “Is that you, little Joey Pagano?”

“Yes, Father, it is.”

“And who was the girl you were with?”

“I cant tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation.”

“Well, Joey, Im sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?”

“I cannot say.”

“Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?”

“Ill never tell.”

“Was it Nina Capelli?”

“I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.”

“Was it Cathy Piriano?”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?”

“Please, Father, I cannot tell you.”

The priest sighs in frustration. “You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you’ve sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.”

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, “What’d you get?”

“Four months vacation and five good leads!”

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Created by: louisphillippe

4/30/17 @ 1:43am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Momentarely in this galaxy while the mother ship r
Posts: 1,234

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Q. Why did God create gay guys?
A. So fat girls have someone to dance with.

(My favorite gay joke of all time!)

:thumbsup

......

awesome....

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Created by: louisphillippe

4/30/17 @ 2:07am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Momentarely in this galaxy while the mother ship r
Posts: 1,234

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A doctor and his wife Lisa were having an argument.
The doctor told her: "Well...you are not so good in bed yourself either!!"
Later on that day the doctor felt he needed to make amends so he calls his
wife.
"What took you so long to answer the phone so late at night Lisa???"
The wife answered: " I was getting a second opinion..." :winkwink

A farmer catches 2 guys stealing fruits from his orchard.
Very angry he gets the shotgun and tell them:
"Since you are such thieves you must pick a big load of your favorite fruit"
When the first guy comes back he had a bushel of gr apes.
He tell the guy: "Now you must shovel them up your ass one by one
or I'll shoot you."
The guy started to put the gr apes up his ass and laughed hysterically...
The farmer asked:" What is so funny??"
The guy answered: " My friend picked up a huge load of watermelons..."

:thumbsup

Two hookers were discussing business in a corner late at night.
One tell the other one: " It is going to be a good night.I smell cock in the air"
The other one said: "Nope...I just burped..."

:orglaugh

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Created by: malteeser

4/30/17 @ 4:40am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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It is wrong that alcohol makes you fat. It doesn't!
It actually makes you LEAN...against bars, poles, walls, friends and strangers! Cheers!
:orglaugh

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Created by: serek56

4/30/17 @ 8:57am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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......

awesome....

good

:drinkup

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Created by: malteeser

5/1/17 @ 4:52am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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A boy goes to a strip club.
His mum gets angry and asks him: Did you see anything there that you were not supposed to see?
Boy: Yes. I saw Dad!

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Created by: malteeser

5/2/17 @ 12:33pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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Wife: I have changed my mind.
Husband: Thank God! Does the new one work?

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Created by: louisphillippe

5/3/17 @ 12:46am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Momentarely in this galaxy while the mother ship r
Posts: 1,234

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Message from F4F to new models:
"If you understand English please type 1..."
"If you don't understand English type 2..." :orglaugh

A local charity called the town millionaire:"Dear Sir: our
records show you make over 1 million a year yet you have never donated
even 1 Euro.Would you like to help our community??"
The millionaire answers: "Do your records show that my mother is very ill
with cancer and medications and doctors cost a fortune?"...Did you know
my sister's husband died and left her with 4 hungry sons and 2 daughters?...Did
your records show that my other brother is blind and needs care 14/7??"
"Well....no....sorry we didn't know all of that Sir!! The charity guy answers:
:winkwink

"Then Mr. Charity if I don't give them any money why would
I give YOU??? :orglaugh

A guy asks his friend: "What sexual position do you think
creates ugly ch1ldren?"
Friend answers " I don't know.Ask your Mom..." :winkwink

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Created by: malteeser

5/3/17 @ 7:17am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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A woman is at home when she hears someone knocking at her door. She goes to the door opens it and sees a man standing there. He asks the lady, “Do you have a Vagina?”

She slams the door in disgust.

The next morning she hears a knock at the door, it’s the same man and he asks the same question to the woman, “Do you have a Vagina?”

She slams the door again.

Later that night when her husband gets home she tell him what has happened for the last two days. The husband tells his wife in a loving and concerned voice, “Honey, I am taking a day off tomorrow so I can be home, just in case this guy shows up again.”

The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both ran for the door.

The husband whispers to the wife, “Honey, I’m going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to a see where he’s going with this.”

She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.

Sure enough the same fellow is standing there, he asks, “Do you have a Vagina?”

“Yes I do.” says the lady.

The man replies, “Good, would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife’s alone and start using yours!”
:orglaugh

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Created by: malteeser

5/4/17 @ 3:14am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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....meanwhile at the art gallery :
"I suppose u call this monstrosity art."
"No sir, that's a mirror." :orglaugh

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Created by: Justin Shiver

5/4/17 @ 8:36pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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A little boy with diarrhea tells his mom that he needs Viagra. The mom asks, "Why on Earth do you need that?!" The little boy says, "Isn't that what you give daddy when his sh*t doesn't get hard?"

I smiled a bit at this one ! xD

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Created by: malteeser

5/5/17 @ 12:09am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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Only 20% of boys have brains. The others have girlfriends.
:thumbsup

10% of traffic accidents are caused by drinking. So it follows that the other 90% are caused by not drinking.
:orglaugh

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Created by: malteeser

5/5/17 @ 5:30pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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In Scotland, the most important time for a young lad is when he "comes of age" and is allowed to purchase and wear his first kilt. A couple of weeks before his important birthday, a young lad went to a tailor shop and found the material he wanted for his first kilt.

He took the material to the tailor and said, "I'd like you to make me a kilt with this material here and, if you don't mind, I'd like you to make me a pair of matching underwear for it. I hear it gets a might drafty up them things!"

So the tailor took the material and promised to call the young lad when the order was completed. A few days later the tailor called the lad back to the shop.

"Here's your kilt, and here's your matching underwear, and here's five yards of the material left over. You might want to take it home and keep it in case you want anything else made of it."

So the lad rushed home with his order, threw the material in his room, and donned his kilt. In his excitement, he decided to run to his girlfriend's house to show off his new purchase. Unfortunately, in his excitement, he forgot to don his underwear.
When his girlfriend answered the door, he pointed to his kilt and said, "Well, what'd you think?"

"Ah, but that's a fine looking kilt," she exclaimed.
"Aye, and if you like it, you'll really like what's underneath," he stated as he lifted his kilt to show here.

"Oh, but that's a dandy," his girlfriend shouted admiringly.
Still not realizing that he didn't have his underwear on he exclaimed quite proudly, "Aye, and if you like it, I've got five more yards of it at home!"

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Created by: malteeser

5/8/17 @ 4:48am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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An elderly couple who were c h I l d h o o d sweethearts had married and settled down in their old neighbourhood.
To celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary they walk down to their old school. There, they hold hands as they find the desk they shared and where he had carved "I love you, Sally".
On their way back home, a bag of money falls out of an armoured car practically at their feet. She quickly picks it up, and they don't know what to do with it so they take it home. There, she counts the money, and its fifty-thousand dollars.
The husband says: "We've got to give it back".
She says, "Finders keepers" and puts the money back in the bag and hides it up in their attic.
The next day, two policemen are going from door-to-door in the neighbourhood looking for the money show up at their home.
One knocks on the door and says: "Pardon me, but did either of you find any money that fell out of an armoured car yesterday?"
She says: "No"..
The husband says: "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic."
She says: "Don't believe him, he's getting senile."

But the policemen sit the man down and begin to question him.
One says: "Tell us the story from the beginning."
The old man says: "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday ..."
At this, the policeman looks at his partner and says: "We're outta here ..."

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Created by: malteeser

5/9/17 @ 12:06pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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Albert and Margaret were married.
Albert always wanted a pair of real cowboy boots. So when he saw a pair displayed in the shop window he could not resist. He went into the shop and finally bought the much-wanted pair of cowboy boots.
Proudly, he scurried home to parade in his boots to his wife.
‘Margaret,’ he said, ‘do you notice anything different?’
‘Nope’, said his 75-year-old woman.
Disappointed he ran into the bathroom, got stark naked except for the boots and asked again, ‘Do you notice anything different NOW?’.
‘No Bert. It was looking down yesterday. It is looking down today. And it will still look down tomorrow!’, replied Marg.
Bert said. ‘It is looking down at my new boots!’.
Marg swiftly replied. ‘You should have bought a hat, Bert!’.
:orglaugh

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Created by: Dirk Thomas

5/9/17 @ 5:03pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Malte i love u sence of humor!!
(' :orglaugh

');

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Created by: louisphillippe

5/9/17 @ 8:37pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Momentarely in this galaxy while the mother ship r
Posts: 1,234

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Husband looking at himself naked in the mirror after 30 years of marriage:
"Will you love me when I'm bald fat and ugly??"
Wife:
"I do"... :thumbsup

On the first night of their honeymoon a guy isn't sure
how to tell his new bride about his stinky feet.
The bride has no idea how to tell the new husband that she has terrible breath.
After meditating and soul searching for a while the husband tells her:
"Dear I have a confession to make" :evil

She gets very very close to him and look into his eyes and says:" So do I dear!"
Jerking suddenly back he says: "Don't tell me.I know.You ate my socks!!"
:orglaugh

Would some one else post some jokes and not just read them??? :mad

It is only Malteeser and I doing all the work here guys!!! :angel

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