Christmas Letters
Sweet girl,
You seemed a little blue the other night; I do hope that all or most is
alright with you in the real world. (you).
I wanted to thank you for having your mom purchase a copy of the Blonde
Brunette, will always be thankful for you promoting my work as you do.
It's the solstice today, and the moon is just rising over the horizon in
the east, a thin crescent like the Cheshire Cat's smile, floating in the
pre-sunrise pink sky. Thinking of you sleeping warm and safe in your
blankets and crisp sheets now.
(kisses)
Mandy
Reply
My darling,
Thank you for your concern, although I tend to keep my emotions locked
away, I am not surprised you picked up on me feeling blue. Nobody else
noticed and I wouldn't want or expect them to. You have that soft and
intuitive personality that I love and admire. I just tend to get,
hmmm, irritated with the holiday season. It is depressing because it
isn't what it should be. I am not religious in any way, which seems to
have nothing to do with Christmas anyway. It just always reminds me
that our society has become completely overwhelmed with the need to
purchase, shit they don't need so they feel they comparable to the
'standards' placed upon the public by industries telling them,
subliminally, to conform. Gifts and favors, I believe, should be done
sporadically throughout the year, just because, and not because you
expect to get a gift back, and not because you feel obligated because
of the holidays.
Otherwise everything is just fine LOL.
How is your day going? It's snowing like crazy here, already 10inches.
I had to go to the grocery store at 5am before all the idiots that
can't drive came onto the streets with my demise in the midst lol.
Can't just close my eyes and pray to Allah for that one.
Reply
ohhhhhh ... snoooowwwwww .... and so MUCH! jeeze. yeah @ commercial Christmas ...
I know so little about your chi'ldhood ... but was there one Christmas night where the excitement was so grand? where you woke just a little early and rushed to see? One where there were nice people? around and with you? oh I would weave that for you if I could... with enough food, and love, and a warm home, and snow outside but not 10 inches; and no rides in cars; and no arguments over anything. a pretty shiny shimmering sparkly fluffy glittery nice smelling and soft on the skin memory for you.
I'm not an xtian either, I'm some tossed in the air garble of things, all of them as silly as the xtians, but somehow more fun to consider.
Once long ago I and some friends took allot of acid; and we went on a car trip to a huge catholic church on Christmas eve, and there was a huge crowd that we got lost in, and there were stone walls and stairways, and towers and glowing stained glass and candles and it was cold inside the place and everyone stood while there was beautiful music and most of it was the acid I suppose but it was a wonderful night, and I still have sharp pretty fantasy images of it all in my head. On Christmas Eve I think of that beautiful night, of being yo'ung and reckless and free and of the laughter and happiness and the pretty light everywhere. I suppose that's what xmas is for some true believer xtians, so I try to think of that instead of all of the other stuff that shrouds that joy of youth with the desperation to bury ourselves in gifts.
If I could I would weave for you that memory, so that you could share in a delightful hallucination of a girl in a crowd of strangers who all appeared to be wearing the loveliest clothes, and the smell of delicious incense, and burning candles everywhere, and of a procession of crimson and white and gold angels who strode together up a path between all of the standing strangers, singing and with a wonderful voiced organ accompanying them.
I would weave for you a dark coach ride to get there with your very best friends bundled together laughing and watching the delicious green and purple forests slide by outside the coach as you traveled the night road to get there, seeing bright colored lights in the forest and just a tiny bit of white snow on the ground and in the deep dark depths of the sparkling forest laying white and clean on the leaves and earth and dark black branches. I would weave that love of simply being yo'ung and free and together on an adventure, not knowing what was to come, not caring at all about what might befall you. Just the happiness of yo'ung people being out and loose and on a prowl with no desire to hurt or be hurt ... if I could I would give you that gift so that when you close your eyes that coach ride and the warm cider from a large Thermos to warm you and sweeten the air with its tart breath would hold you close.
I would weave for you all of that as a Christmas memory, the bright shining eyes of a tiny girl, and the happy freedom of the teenager among friends and strangers in a faery tale night, and the huge love I have for you as my friend. That is the tapestry I would give you this solstice, this winter that holds us in her heart.
Mandy
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